I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
