Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing βthis is going right up my assβ. LOUDLY
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