But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
