The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
