I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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