Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
