moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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