this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
