"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
