just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
