Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
