This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
