? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
