Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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