not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
