i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
