Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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