hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
