I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
