omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
