In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
