Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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