carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
