omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
