no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
