Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
