Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
