You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
