You made me cry and you don't even care
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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