I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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