this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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