Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Enjoy the penises
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
