Dual....:-)
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
