This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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