My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
