You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
