Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
love makes seman taste better
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
MIDGETS
????
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
