you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
