He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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