jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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