420 ftw
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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