the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
