two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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