She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
