'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
