So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
