paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
