also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
