For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
