Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You pole danced in your parka.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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