i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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