So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize