We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
