PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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